The end of it all...
I'm having a lot of feelings at the end of the year and here is a mass word vomit of them all...
The end of the year just sucks.
This year was rough. I had some kiddos that do this, and some kiddos that do that. There is always more going on than teachers know about. At home, at recess, just always. There are kids that love me. Kids that just won't open up to me the way that I want them to.
At the end of the year it's all magnified! There are kids that cry with 3 weeks left of school because they'll miss me. There are kids that can't wait to get off that bus the last day and finally be "free." There are mountains of end of year procedures that teachers must do: paperwork, cleaning, more paperwork, tests, grading, report cards, the list goes on. There is always something to complain about... but we try to make the best of it.
With around 3 weeks left of school it gets a little harder each day to continue. I'm exhausted. The kids are a little more crazy with the nice weather. Everyone needs some time apart. Everyone is bothering everyone.
But... that's not why the end sucks. It sucks because I spend 6 hours day with these kids. I pour my life into them. I work and work not for myself, not for my scores, FOR THEM. I want them to grow up and be successful and that starts SO early. They have so many opportunities in this life but someone has to teach them to make the good choices. I want my kids to leave ready for 4th grade, yes, but I want them to leave me as good people. I want to grow their hearts. I want them to know what it means to be a friend. and a good friend, at that. I have taught them to speak their mind and play fair. I want them to be courageous and brave. I want them to experience things that they haven't before and work harder than they ever have.
6 hours a day. 30 hours a week. 900 hours in one year. I have the honor of teaching and working through situations with them each day. What to say in certain situations. What to do when someone says this or that. How to deal with mean kids. How to be a nice kid. How to spend time with someone that you wouldn't typically spend time with. How to talk about how they feel. All of these situations being discussed bring us closer together. I get to know their hearts. I get to know what they like and what pulls on their heart strings. I get to see their desires and their biggest dream. I get to see them when they fail and I get to help them up. I get to give them hugs and make them smile. I get to teach them how to earn back trust. It's truly an honor. I get to be in their lives for just one year and I get to see a small chapter of their lives first hand.
And then they're gone.
Some I'll see every once in a while at a school event or at the store. Some I'll never see again. Some I'll read about in the newspaper and some I'll NEVER see again. I can't get over that. It hurts my heart to know that these last few days are it. I will never be as close to them as I am right now.
So now we enjoy these last 2 days. We get to relax and spend quality time together. We get to wrap up our time together having fun and enjoy each others' smiles. We get to play outside together. We get to close our classroom that we have called home for the last 10 months. We get to say our goodbyes and see ya laters. We get to show love and be loved.
Parents: thanks for sharing your greatest Joys with me. Thanks for allowing me to be such a huge part of their lives. Thanks for teaching along side me. Please keep loving your kiddos and showing them the way. Teach them to love stronger than anyone around them. Teach them to be courageous and speak their minds. Teach them to stand up for what is right and to back down when it's been enough. I have seen so much progress this year and can't wait to see where they go in this life. Keep in touch.
XOXO